Key Takeaways
- Long-term relationships have their own challenges
- Clients evolve—and so should your relationship
- Difficult conversations are easier when there's history
The Long Game
Existing clients present different challenges than new ones:
- Complacency (yours and theirs)
- Changing circumstances
- Accumulated frustrations
- Evolving needs
- Life transitions
Your existing relationships are where most of your value is delivered—and where referrals come from. Practice handling these situations well.
The Angry Client
A long-term client upset about something
Setup
A client you've worked with for eight years calls and is clearly angry. Something has gone wrong, but they haven't said what yet.
Client says:
“I need to talk to you about something. I got my statement and I can't believe what I'm seeing. You told me this was a conservative portfolio. So why am I down 15%? I trusted you. I'm 65 years old—I can't afford to lose this money. What the hell happened?”
Practice Objectives
- 1Do NOT get defensive or explain immediately
- 2Let them vent without interrupting
- 3Acknowledge their frustration as valid
- 4Take responsibility (even if market-related)
- 5Explore what they expected vs. what happened
- 6Work toward resolution without dismissing their concern
The Life Change
A client going through a major transition
Setup
A client you've worked with for five years calls to tell you they're getting divorced. This affects everything—accounts, planning, insurance, all of it.
Client says:
“I need to tell you something. Sarah and I are getting divorced. We're trying to keep it civil but... it's hard. I don't know what happens to our accounts. Do we split everything? Does she get half? I don't even know where to start. And honestly, I'm kind of embarrassed to be telling you this.”
Practice Objectives
- 1Lead with empathy, not logistics
- 2Normalize their embarrassment
- 3Assess the immediate practical needs
- 4Clarify your role (advisor, not lawyer)
- 5Suggest they get legal advice if they haven't
- 6Offer to work with whoever needs to be involved
The Drifting Client
A client who seems to be disengaging
Setup
A client has missed two annual reviews and barely responds to emails. You sense they might be shopping around or just losing interest.
Client says:
“*On the phone* Oh, hey. Yeah, sorry I've been hard to reach. Things are just crazy busy. What did you need?”
Practice Objectives
- 1Don't be accusatory or desperate
- 2Get curious about what's going on
- 3Find out if something has changed
- 4Assess if there's a problem with the relationship
- 5Offer value without being pushy
- 6Know when to give space vs. when to dig deeper
The Dying Client
A client facing a terminal diagnosis
Setup
A client you've worked with for 15 years has called to tell you they have cancer and the prognosis isn't good. They want to "get things in order."
Client says:
“I have some difficult news. I've been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Stage 4. They're saying I might have 6-12 months. I've had time to process it... somewhat. But I need to make sure my family is taken care of. Can you help me get everything in order?”
Practice Objectives
- 1Pause and acknowledge the gravity before business
- 2Express genuine care (you've known them 15 years)
- 3Let them lead in terms of how much they want to discuss
- 4Be matter-of-fact when they need you to be
- 5Focus on their priorities, not a checklist
- 6Recognize your own emotions about this