Key Takeaways
- Resistance comes from pushing; questions invite exploration
- When clients object, get curious instead of defensive
- You can't argue with someone's own answers
They Object. You Get Curious.
"They have the right to object. You have the right to be curious. No resistance ever."
The moment you push back against a client's objection, you create resistance. They dig in. You dig in. Nobody wins.
But when you respond to objections with genuine curiosity, something magical happens: the resistance disappears.
The Physics of Resistance
| Your Response | Their Reaction |
|---|---|
| Argue | Dig in deeper |
| Explain | Tune out |
| Defend | Get more skeptical |
| Get curious | Think out loud |
Why Curiosity Works
When you ask questions about their objection:
- You're not attacking their position — You're exploring it
- They have to think — Which often reveals flaws in their own reasoning
- They feel heard — Not sold to
- They convince themselves — The most powerful persuasion
The Curiosity Response Pattern
When a client objects, follow this pattern:
- Acknowledge — "I hear you..."
- Get curious — "Help me understand..." or "What's behind that?"
- Listen — Really listen to their answer
- Layer deeper — Ask a follow-up about what they said
Example Transformation
Client: "I don't believe in life insurance."
| Defensive Response (Creates Resistance) | Curious Response (No Resistance) |
|---|---|
| "But your family needs protection!" | "Tell me more about that. What's shaped your view?" |
| "What if something happens to you?" | "What's your thinking on how your family would manage?" |
| "Everyone needs life insurance!" | "How do you approach protecting your family financially?" |
The curious response lets them talk. And as they talk, they often talk themselves into reconsidering—without you ever having to "sell" them.
The Mindset Shift
Old mindset: "I need to overcome their objection." New mindset: "I need to understand their objection."
When you truly understand why they object, you can address the real concern—which is often not what they first said.
The Insurance Skeptic
Someone who has had bad experiences with insurance salespeople
Setup
A referral from a satisfied client arrives at your office. Within the first few minutes, they make it clear they have strong negative feelings about insurance products.
Client says:
“Look, my friend said you were different, but I've been burned by insurance people before. They sold my parents all kinds of garbage they didn't need. I'm here to talk about investments, not insurance. I don't want to hear any insurance pitch.”
Practice Objectives
- 1Do NOT get defensive or immediately try to differentiate yourself
- 2Get curious about their past experience (what happened?)
- 3Understand what "garbage" means to them specifically
- 4Acknowledge their skepticism is reasonable given their experience
- 5Let them lead the conversation to what they want to discuss
The Market Timer
A client who wants to time the market despite your advice
Setup
An existing client calls you in a panic during market volatility. They want to sell everything and "wait until things calm down." You know this is usually a bad strategy.
Client says:
“I want to sell everything. The market is going to crash further, I can feel it. I'll buy back in when things settle down. I know you probably disagree, but it's my money and I've made up my mind.”
Practice Objectives
- 1Do NOT lecture them about market timing being a bad strategy
- 2Get curious about what they're seeing/feeling that's driving this
- 3Ask questions that help them think through their plan
- 4Explore what "things settling down" would look like to them
- 5Help them consider scenarios without telling them they're wrong
A client says "I don't trust financial advisors." What's the best response?