Key Takeaways
- The first few minutes set the tone for the entire relationship
- Clarify roles, expectations, and process upfront
- Get permission to ask personal questions
The First Five Minutes Matter Most
"People decide if they trust you in the first few minutes. Everything after that is confirmation or contradiction."
The way you open a client meeting sets the trajectory for everything that follows. Do it well, and clients relax and open up. Do it poorly, and they stay guarded for the entire conversation.
The Three Things Clients Need Upfront
Before clients can fully engage, they need to know:
| They're Wondering | You Should Clarify |
|---|---|
| "What are we doing here?" | Purpose of the meeting |
| "What's expected of me?" | Their role in the conversation |
| "What will you do?" | Your role and process |
| "How long will this take?" | Time expectations |
| "Is this a sales pitch?" | What this is (and isn't) |
A Framework for Opening
Step 1: Build Rapport (2-3 minutes)
- Small talk, find common ground
- Comment on something genuine (their office, a photo, the drive)
- Let them settle in
Step 2: Set Expectations (2-3 minutes)
"Let me tell you how I'd like our conversation to go today—and then you can tell me if that works for you.
My goal is to understand your situation as well as I can—not just the numbers, but what's actually important to you. To do that, I'm going to ask you some questions. Some might feel personal, and there are no wrong answers.
This isn't a sales pitch. At the end of today, I'm not going to ask you to sign anything. What I am going to do is listen, and if I think I can help you, I'll tell you what that might look like.
Does that sound okay?"
Step 3: Get Permission (1 minute)
"I'm going to ask some questions that might get into personal territory—things like your goals, your concerns, what keeps you up at night financially. Is that okay with you?"
This explicit permission does two things:
- Prepares them for deeper questions
- Creates a commitment to engage honestly
Why This Works
When you clearly state that:
- You're here to listen
- There's no pressure
- You want to understand them
...clients relax. Their defenses lower. They share more.
The Cold Open
A new prospect you've never met
Setup
A referral arrives at your office. You've never spoken before—they just showed up because a friend told them to. They seem uncertain about what this meeting is.
Client says:
“*Sits down, looking around* So... my friend Mark said I should come see you. He said you helped him with his finances. I'm not really sure what this is about or what you do, honestly. I guess... what happens now?”
Practice Objectives
- 1Welcome them and put them at ease
- 2Explain what this meeting is (and isn't)
- 3Set expectations for the conversation
- 4Get permission to ask deeper questions
- 5Transition smoothly into discovery
The Time-Pressed Executive
A busy professional who wants to "get to the point"
Setup
A high-earning executive agreed to a meeting but showed up 15 minutes late and immediately says they only have 20 minutes. They seem impatient.
Client says:
“*Rushing in* Sorry I'm late—crazy day. Look, I've only got about 20 minutes before my next call. Can we just cut to the chase? What do you need from me and what are you proposing?”
Practice Objectives
- 1Acknowledge their time constraint respectfully
- 2Briefly set expectations even with limited time
- 3Decide whether to proceed or reschedule
- 4If proceeding, prioritize the most important discovery questions
- 5Don't rush through a meeting that needs more time
Why is it important to explicitly ask permission to ask personal questions?